Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It

No one speaks about the mom who has lost herself while building a family. No one talks about the wife who sacrificed herself to ensure a safe space for her husband to heal from his trauma. And while she plays the role of heroine, fighting day in day out.. she lost herself.

She betrayed herself by not setting up healthy boundaries.

She ended up binge eating, trying to soothe her emotions. Fooling herself although her mind knows well what that instant dopamine will do to her body.

She betrayed herself again, when she said yes to all the late night food.

She chose not to say No.

Is she afraid to say No?

No.. she has always been brave. She is well known for facing her fears.

But, She rather chose harmony to avoid conflicts than saying No.

She chose to keep her energy to fight battles that are more worthy.

In being the Love, she ruined herself.

Disappointed not with the people she love, but heartbroken with her own choices.

How could you treat yourself like this?

Where is that girl who run around like crazy?

Where is that girl who used to climb roof tops and enjoy standing by the edge just to feed her crave for heights?

Where is that girl who enjoyed sprinting just to compete with herself?

Oh why did you ruin her body for the love of others?

It is time to claim yourself back.

Love yourself first.

It sucks when you forgot who you are in serving the people you love.

Oh no, please don't misunderstand me. I don't blame them. I love them. And I love how much they have bloomed under my care. Under my love for them.

But the fact that I am actually trying to love myself again, is not easy.

I am so comfortable giving myself, and it feels weird to have some for myself.

It feels strange and guilty. (Crying now)

Sedih. Change is tough. but is needed.

Cry now. Cry today.. and cry as much as you want.

Cry and let it go. Cry out the pain.

Cry everyday as you bid goodbye to yourself.

Tomorrow will be a new me. (Sigh)

So stressful laaaa! Rasa macam kena kongkong tau! (I want my freeedomm!!)

I want to be able to eat whatever I want.

I want to be able to do whatever I want.

Why must I follow what the Doctor say.. "Do this.. do that"

Wa liaooooo...(ughhhh!)

Goodbye girl. Thank you for the 11 years of being nice.

Let's start finding myself back.

Let's dream bigger.

Remember, the changes you are afraid of today.. is the doa you made years ago.

He gives you, because He loves you.

Thank You Allaaahh : )

Please bear with my complaints.

I cant be crying to anyone else other than You. : (