8.00pm

8.00p.m is the time that I look forward to every single day. Yes 8.00p.m

I am writing this to remind myself why it is important for me to be available, to be home and ready before 8.00p.m.

Quran classes for my daughters starts at 8.30p.m. Their Quran class consists of memorising a verse or 2 every single day. The first is currently memorising Surah Al-Buruj from the 30th Juzuk, and the second is at Surah Al-Balad. My presence at home plays an important role for them to be emotionally prepared for their hifz session. I want to remind myself again, that my presence is important. Myself being available for them physically and emotionally because they depend on me. My children’s progress in their Quran memorisation solely depend on my mood of the day.

The happier I am, the more ready I am in memorising the Quran with them, the easier they absorb. The less stressful I am, the more they enjoy memorising the Quran. The more they look forward to their classes. “Mummy, can we do that action again at the word ‘jannatin’”. “Mummyyy… come let’s dance to that verse. It’s so fun” (It’s not a dance, it’s just movements to certain verses)

So, dear doubtful self.

You did the right thing by throwing your resignation letter. Let’s find a better place.

Not for me.

It was never for me.

It has always been for my little family.

For my girls to bloom and be the best of what Allah has given them.

I am a mother, and it is my responsibility to ensure they have the best version of me in searching the Lord of the world. It is my duty to give them the space to be themselves yet disciplined to the rules and regulations set. It is my job to continue this journey of becoming the best version of myself, for my children to be amazed at the wonders of the Lord who created me and them. For them to fall in love with Islam, the way I did.

In Sha Allah sayang.

Remember how Aminah(may Allah be please with her), went to search for the best nursing mother for her son(Nabi Muhammad sallahu’alaihiwassalam). And when Hajar was running through and fro to find water for Ismail (may Allah be please with them)? And Imam Syafiie’s mother who travelled from Palestine to Makkah? All of these mothers worked hard to give their children a better opportunities. Money is not everything. My time for my children, supporting them in their soul searching, is everything to me.

There is something waiting for us.

Keep knocking.

Bismillah